So much more

This life I now find myself in wasn't exactly as I once dreamed it would be....

When I was in college and grad-school and let myself dream of the future, I envisioned life with a wonderful husband who lovingly did whatever I said (haha), a couple sweet kids, and hopes for an easy life for us all.  Boy, did I limit myself....I had no idea what God had in store for me.

You see, I didn't always want to let God decide the size of our family.  I didn't always want to let God direct the path our lives would take.  I didn't always appreciate the characteristics in my husband that God uses to shape me and grow me in Him.

I used to be a planner....I would spend hours and hours planning out our financials, planning out when we should have our next baby, planning out when we could go on vacations or road trips....planning, planning, planning.  I was still under the impression that we could literally control our life.

I'm so glad that God got a hold of my heart....and a hold of my sweet husband's heart as well.  The transformation in us both is nothing short of amazing....we were far from being dependent on Christ in all things, nor living righteous lives.  I had a sweet conversation with my husband the other evening, and during it I reflected on how I would label my life before truly following Christ ... the only word I could think of was 'imposter'.  I liked the thought of living for God - but I did not want to give Him all control....I was a fan.  Now, I am a changed soul and I am a follower....sold out for Christ and wanting to be used as He sees fit while I am on this earth.

Do I struggle with worry and fear and restlessness and impatience and anger and pride and envy and jealousy?  Of course....I am human.  And I am a sinner.  BUT....God does not leave me to my sin.  The Holy Spirit is convicting and guiding me daily....I am a constant work in progress.

This is how we have arrived to where we find ourselves now as a family....we are surrendered to His Will.  God Almighty is who we turn to for guidance....not our own brains.  We try to be faithful stewards of the physical things He has provided for us, but we desire to follow wherever He sends us - whether that be down the street or across the ocean, in a sturdy house or a flimsy tent, in a time of plenty or a time of need.  Just as our pastor preached on this past Sunday, we desire to be content where God has us now....with what He has given us now.

So, do you think I sometimes have moments where I think how easier it would be to not have a diaper that always needed changed?  Of course I do.  But, I also know that this life is not my own - and to fully surrender to Christ is to surrender all of me....including all of my planning and all of my desires to make life "easier".   And, even though this house is often full of young child and toddler chaos.....and sometimes this mommy and daddy are so tired from all of life's demands that we don't have much time for one-on-one time....and even though we work very hard to eat on a budget and drive a big 12-passenger van because it was a smarter financial purchase so that I could stay home with the kiddos.....THIS LIFE IS BETTER THAN I EVER ALLOWED MYSELF TO DREAM!

When we stepped out of the way (and continue to remind ourselves daily to step out of the way) and let God decide our family's direction, we have experienced peace like no other.  Do we have bad days?  Duh!  But our good days are amazing and our amazing days are out of this world!  I am humbled at how God is continuing to pursue us as His Children - to continue molding us for His work.  We pray daily for His guidance and also for sensitivity in ourselves to hear His voice leading us where we should go.  Would you join us in prayer?  We would love to pray for you....and would be humbled if anyone would be led to pray for us.
 

Just let us women be....

I have several stories of women's birth experiences running through my head.  And I'm just so sick of the medical community making labor/delivery/recovery and then infant care so ridiculously traumatic and difficult for some women.  It makes me angry and sad all at the same time.

To most of the American society, my homebirth and experience with Raylan's labor/delivery is an abormality - it's not the norm, and it makes some people feel uneasy.  But, in the community of midwives and obstetric providers that trust the woman's body to do what it was designed to do, I blend in with the crowd....my birth with Raylan is as normal as the sun rising each day.  It is a community of well-educated people who desire to have patience during the time of pregnancy, to not rush a baby based on some made up time schedule, to educate women on what is going on in their body and prepare them for the big event of labor and birth, to give women the best chance possible at a healthy delivery with a healthy baby, and to not get in the way of God's design.

Women, do you not trust your bodies to DO what God DESIGNED them to do?  Do you just not believe you can birth your own child without the need of medical intervention?  Do you truly not believe that?

Men, do you not believe your wife can birth your child?  Do you not encourage her and get involved in the pregnancy and the labor and the delivery?  Do you not know how important you are during this time?

OBs, since when do you know when a baby should come out?  Since when has an ultrasound in late 3rd trimester been 100% accurate - enough to be used to scare a woman into giving birth to a baby that wasn't ready to be born yet?

America, do you not realize that we are spending $98 BILLION dollars annually for pregnancy and childbirth - the MOST in the entire world!!!!! But we - the country who claims to have the most advanced medical care - rank 50TH.....50TH!!! in the world for maternal death rate!!  This means that 49 other countries....read that right, 49 other countries are better at keeping new mothers alive.  What in the world....when are we going to figure it out?!?!?!?!  And we rank 51ST in the world for infant mortality rates....50 other countries are doing a better job at keep newborn babies alive.  Seriously???  This. Is. Sad.

I realize there are some women that do have high-risk health situations, and it is necessary for medical involvement in those cases.  But, literally, 98% (and I'm being generous) of women in the USA do not need medical intervention to go into labor and then deliver their baby.  Seriously!!  And much of the maternal and infant mortality rates would decrease if we would stop forcing moms into labor or into a c-section and stop forcing babies out of the womb before they are ready!!!!!

If you have had a c-section.....please educate yourself on your REAL options - not the ones your OB scares you into making.  Check out this link: http://www.ican-online.org/

If you have been told you have big babies...that they are too big....please educate yourself on your body and on the best positions for childbirth to help your body when in labor. Please check out this link:  http://www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com/Big_baby.htm

If you think you have to have an epidural to "survive" labor....please educate yourself on ALL the methods of pain management during labor....and educate yourself on all the true risks to you and your baby if you use pain meds during labor.  Please check out these links:
http://www.birthingnaturally.net/
http://www.bradleybirth.com/
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/epiduraltrip.asp

I have experienced my own labors in a hospital - with intervention every step of the way....and at home - allowing my body to do what God designed it to do as a woman.  I will always choose the latter - it was a beautiful and pleasant experience like no other. I trust in my body....I trust in my God.

What's it all about?

Some days....most days, lately....I feel like I have just missed it.

I've missed what it's all about.  This life I live is so much bigger than I allow God to make it.

I get focused on myself....contained within my own little walls of this house.  I make all the daily decisions more weighted than they should be....distracted by our "problems" that are not really problems - but blessings that can become burdens.

Am I thankful we have a house?  YES!!
Am I thankful we have a car?  YES!!
Am I thankful we have food to eat and clothing to wear?  YES!!

BUT....Am I caught up in our own lifestyle....falling short of seeing a bigger blessing and being a part of a bigger blessing by ending my worship with a simple thanks for provisions????  Sadly, yes.  Worship of God Almighty is so much more than thankfulness for stuff....for needs met.  To end worship there, your soul misses out on so much.  Worship also involves serving - to realize that your needs have been met so that you can be used to help another.

Life is not about just getting needs met.....

• it's about barely having needs met AND giving what I did not think I could give to another in need.
• it's about living in the present AND being ready to go where God wants to send me in the future.
• it's about living with eternity with Christ in my heart AND being useful while still here on earth.
• it's about finding joy in my daily moments AND submitting to conviction for repentence.
• it's about keeping my heart/mind/soul focused on the things of Christ AND being aware of the torment and evil and horrendous acts in this world so that I can be used to HELP those who are helpless.

"In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

Each day, my struggle grows stronger.  How can I continue going about life "as it is" when I know that there are humans that won't get to eat today.....humans that will have to sleep out in the rain and cold....humans that will be sold into slavery of all kinds....humans that are abused just because....how can I continue on this same path, not making any decisions that would disrupt this life I am living....how can I continue filling life up with stuff, and not emptying it so that it can be filled with God's love being poured out on others?  Jesus Christ came for ALL......ALL!!!!  And especially for the least of these....he came to save, to heal, to restore.  God help me...help our family....as we fall into a deeper relationship with Him, as we lean on Him more in all things, as we trust Him with what He has planned for us.

Some wise and convicting and motivating and loving words from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity:

“Give me all of you!!! I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want YOU!!! ALL OF YOU!! I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to KILL IT! No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out! Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them ALL over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.”

“It is better to forget about yourself altogether.”

“The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self--all your wishes and precautions--to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call "ourselves," to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be "good.”  

"In the passage where the New Testament says that every one must work, it gives as a reason ‘in order that he may have something to give to those in need’. Charity—giving to the poor—is an essential part of Christian morality.  ... ...  I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charities expenditure excludes them."

Find other blog posts concerning faith, marriage, raising children, homemaking, homeschooling, gardening, crafting, natural living, & ministry @ this link up over at Raising Mighty Arrows

Send Me

My God has tugged on my heart to go. There is a group of people in Africa that have never heard of Jesus....and I desire to follow where God has prompted me to go.  I am out of my comfort zone....I unsure of myself and I know ALL of my weaknesses.  There are a million reasons I could give myself to talk myself out of going.  And yet, there is one reason TO go....the only reason that matters - I will go because I love my Lord above anything else and anyone else, and He is asking me to be available to go.

Could He accomplish His goal without me?  Of course!!  Do I want to miss out on the blessing of being used by God Almighty?  Absolutely NOT!!!  I am going because I know God is wanting to send me, but also because it brings my heart joy to go - to share the gospel with those who have not yet heard of His saving grace!!!

I have much to do to be prepared to go - spiritually, emotionally, physically. But, I also have much to do to prepare my household so that it is a low stress time for my hubby while I am away (or at least as low stress as possible!!).  I have already seen God answer prayers concerning this mission trip...and I'm excited to see Him continue to answer prayers and move hearts!! 

I covet all your prayers - not just for myself, the mission trip, and the people we will be ministering to...but also for my kiddos and husband, for amazing strength and patience for my husband (it is so hard to fly solo with 3 little ones) and for amazing ability to listen, obey, and get along for my kiddos.

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."  ~ Romans 14:17-19

OCD? House always spotless?? Not so much with this gal...

Do you have little ones....and I mean aged 3 and under at home??? (At least what I am observing in our oldest, it appears 4 years old is when they really start to grasp the concept of following through on the task you give them and really being more a helper than a helper that needs constant guidance).  Do you have more than one?

When our third blessing was born, my oldest had just turned 3.....yep, God was teaching us patience!!  LOL!!  Here are my beautiful babies the day that our 1st sweet baby boy was born almost 9 months ago - time flies:

MK ~ 38 mos old, SJ ~ 17 mos old, RT ~ 1 day old

Life is hectic for us....the day literally never slows down.  So, I understand the other mommas out there who just want to stay on top of basic chores - but also have time to meet all the kiddos needs - and actually have time to just have fun with them!!!  And then, even if you clean all day, you've got little pairs of hands and feet following right behind you making messes of what you just cleaned!!!  Anyone else?????

Do you struggle to keep the house under control....even semi-under control?  Is this a source of stress for you...or for your hubby?  Does this picture happen more than once a day and make cleaning house even more stressful???

**This is not my kid....but bless his heart!!!  And bless his momma's heart!!!

I am totally there with you.  Some days are just a complete wash.  I often have a plan...and that plan often gets blown out of the water.  I am not OCD about being spotlessly clean....we LIVE in our house, for goodness sake!!  I just do not believe this needs to be a source of stress for me....I have so many moments I want to be involved with as my kids are growing, and I don't want to be stuck sticking to a cleaning regimen, just because today is "bathroom day"!!!  And, I didn't want to have anything scheduled for cleaning on the weekends - my husband works hard (and sometimes long hours) and I just want to be relaxed with him when he's home all day for the weekend.  I also work a few weekends a month, and I do not want to have any tasks that he has to have completed while I'm gone, so he can just enjoy one-on-one time with the kiddos.  So, I tried to think of the easiest plan I could think of to keep some sort of order in the house.....and here is what has been working for me the past few weeks.

MONDAY (no cleaning)

• Organize coupons / comprise grocery list / go grocery shopping for two weeks worth of food
• Go over finances / pay bills every two weeks

TUESDAY (just laundry - no cleaning)

• Cooking day (I often spend the morning with one of my best friends and we prepare several meals at once for freezing)
• Laundry day - all clothing is washed on this one day - this has been AWESOME - such a good decision to do it all in one day

WEDNESDAY (1st day of cleaning - this is the most time consuming day....but the girls are starting to help a lot on this day)

• Bathrooms - we have two full baths - (mirror, sink, quick sweep of floors, toilet, wipe down tub/shower)
• Bedrooms - straighten up and vacuum, wash all bed linens

THURSDAY (2nd day of cleaning)

• Vacuum & mop floors in hallway/kitchen/living/dining room

FRIDAY (maybe cleaning....maybe a free day!!)

• Left over day to catch up on anything that didn't get done earlier in the week - could give the kitchen a good cleaning if nothing else needs attention - or could hit up the baseboards - or the ceiling fan blades - or go through papers that need filed - or clean windows (that will have fingerprints all over them as soon as I get them clean!!) - or sweep cobwebs out of the ceiling corners - BUT, I only choose ONE of those things to do!

That's it....it's really been pretty easy to implement.  And the best part is, I don't feel overwhelmed.  Side note: every single day the dishes are done....but rarely is our kitchen spotless.  I spend a large amount of the day in there - between breakfast and snacks and lunches and dinner prep...it's just never going to be completely clean.  So, I just *try* to keep on top of the dishes and do the pots and pans when I can.  I also *try* to keep on top of the floor, at least spot-sweeping when someone's made a mess.

We try to pick up toys each day, but that doesn't always happen.  And I am OKAY with that!!  We live with little kiddos...they love toys....their toys are everywhere.  These are facts.  I'd rather have toys strewn about and happy kiddos, than toys put up properly and discouraged children.

There are some weeks where not every chore is going to get done.....and in my book, that is 100% okay.  Our house is not disease-ridden....a few days of really messy isn't going to hurt anyone and can be recovered from, usually within just one day.  One thing I will suggest -- sit down with your hubby and talk about the cleanliness of the house with him, find out what his thoughts and expectations are.  Let him know what you can and can't do during the day and work as a team to figure out the best plan.  My hubs always takes care of the trash and we have started switching who does the dishes in the evenings if we are at home after dinner.  Plus, if I have the laundry ready to go, my husband can carry all the weighed down laundry baskets downstairs to our washer an dryer...that's always a huge help!  He also helps the girls stay motivated to, at the very least, pick up toys and put them away somehow!!  Communication is key so that you can have help when you need it and so that he knows what the plan is!!

So, for all you OCD mommas out there....I'm sorry if my house gives you a heart attack - or even just reading this blog gives you a heart attack!  LOL!!  But, for me and my personality, I just believe there are more important things than a super clean house....more important little human beings need my attention.  Maybe you already have a chore schedule that works....awesome!!!  Just give yourself a little "living life" room and don't let a spotless clean house become yet another source of stress in your life!!  Hugs momma!!!  

Now, go play with your little ones....and give them tight squeezing hugs and big slobbery kisses!!!!

Following in Obedience - What does that really mean??

I've been thinking for many days about this.  I'm daily convicted about my own strong-willed and stubborn personality....I am my own stumbling block in my relationship with Christ.  This might be a long post - and I apologize - but there are some little nuggets of encouragement that have helped me in this area. And I am still growing....does anyone ever stop?  I fail often, but my Gracious Heavenly Father picks me back up, forgives my sin, and renews His Spirit in me - giving me strength to continue on in faith!

How can I truly be obedient?
How does a person handle all the stresses of life and still be obedient?
What does this look like in a dysfunctional world?  In my dysfunctional life?

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around total obedience to the Lord - mainly because I fail so often.  So, it helps me to break it into the areas of life that pertain to most of us:

• Worship / Prayer / Bible study - we know these need to be our priority, but - for some - these tend to fall to the wayside with all the other demands on our time
• Relationships - marriage, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, co-workers, enemies - we are called LOVE...and to pray for all of these
• Our role as women in the home - it's not all about staying at home 24/7 - the managing of the home is, by God's design, the responsibility of the woman....whether we work in or out of the home, it is still our responsibility to tend to our home and all the inhabitants
• Jobs - working at home or outside the home - God calls us to be servants no matter where we are working
• Parenting - because our relationship with our children is a whole different relationship than any other, but it is our biggest chance at witnessing to a captivated audience
• Finances - we all know the stress that dealing with finances can bring, but it can also bring joy when we trust God to use our money for His purpose
• Eating - food can be an idol and we must be on guard to not let our desire for food become too present in our thoughts or used as our way of dealing with life - we don't need food to cope, we need God.
• Exercising - how quickly we forget that our bodies are the living, breathing temple of God - why do we neglect them so?  I have recently been convicted in this....
• Service - beyond serving within the walls of your home, seeking to serve others in your community or be open to the call to go on mission trips to another state or abroad
• Evangelizing - spreading the Good News to the world around us

Okay, so....breathe. 

I'm feeling overwhelmed just looking at that list....and that was just a generalized summary!!  Life is complicated. It just is. And, for those who desire to follow Christ, life is usually hard.  In fact, Jesus gave us a glimpse of the trials even He experienced when walking this earth, as He responded to a man who claimed to want to follow Him, 

"As they were going along the road, someone said to Him, “I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” ~Luke 9:57-58

If our Savior and Redeemer....the only perfect Man who walked this earth, who was always completely obedient to the Father....if He had not even a building for shelter to lay his head and endured hardships, why do we believe our life will be easy?  But, that is a question to explore for another blog!!  :)

So....how do we walk out obedience in all the areas of life that are always tugging at us?  Truly, I believe it is simple, Christ instructed us simply - I believe we make it hard.  God has shown me three...just three...simple ways we can live obediently. And, if I could sum those three points up into two words:  BE PURPOSEFUL.

1.  Be purposeful - desire, strive, struggle, set your mind -  to follow the two greatest commands Jesus spoke of in the book of Matthew:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and [o]foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” ~Matthew 22:36-40

We don't need to be uber-super-duper "religious" and do everything right....in fact, try to steer clear of falling into legalism....we are saved by grace, not by works.  But, by being purposeful in loving God with ALL our heart, mind, soul, strength (**take a minute and REALLY think about what that means**), we are opening ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit.  And when the Holy Spirit is freely working in us, we CAN be obedient to His promptings.  And when we set our minds and hearts on seeking God, we will end up in His Word and in prayer....and our relationship with Him will be deepened.  And, when the Holy Spirit is working freely in us, God will soften our hearts to those around us (including our hateful co-worker, or our extra whiny toddler, or our distant spouse, or our estranged siblings, or the homeless man who's always on the street corner, etc, etc).  When we first set our minds and hearts and souls and strength on God Almighty, we can more easily love and serve our husbands, love and guide our children, serve outside our homes, and show Christ to the world.....all because we ourselves have received unconditional love from the only One who can give it.

2. Be purposeful in seeing God in all the moments of the day.

"There is ... one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all." ~Ephesians 4:6

This is the idea of being thankful and finding joy in the midst of a messy, stressful, and demanding life.  God IS there.  He's there for all the moments, beautiful and downright ugly.  And, contrary to what some people believe, we will be given more than we can handle.....we endure much in this life, but the only way to truly handle it is to hit our knees - face down - pleading for God's help and deliverance!!  If you haven't heard of this book, now available as a devotional as well, I recommend it times a billion!!  One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp, was life changing for my walk with Christ.  I read it at exactly the time in life that I should have....I have three little ones (currently aged almost 4, recently turned 2, and almost 9 months).  Life is hectic....and I get lost in the needs of everyone else.  But, this book helped me put it all in perspective...and God grabbed a hold of me through her words. I can more easily see God in the midst because I am looking for Him!!

3. Be purposeful in TRUSTING.

I would go out on a limb and say I am not alone in this, but I often don't rely on God throughout the day.  Take a moment and daydream....imagine your life - all the decisions and headaches and mess-ups and joys - imagine what that life would look like when fully trusting in God your Father to meet every single need, to know what is best for you.  I think of my own life, and I am overwhelmed by the abundance of glory I have missed out on giving to my Holy God - what a HUGE testimony and witness it is to everyone around me when I fully rely on Him and can give Him all the glory!!!  If I am living life like this, God is using this season of life - the one where my main focus is on loving and serving my husband, caring for little ones, and homeschooling my oldest - the season of life where I can't be out evangelizing every day because my responsibility is to my family first - when I give trust to Him....I can be evangelizing simply by proclaiming His promises are true and He is faithful - giving evidence of how He has been faithful in my own life!!!  This makes me think of a sweet hymn....sing it along with me:

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

• Refrain:
  Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
  How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
  Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
  Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

1. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
2. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
3. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.
   
   
   Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Daily seek His presence, in all the moments. Trust in Him, believe His promises.  We don't need to stress about failing in obedience.....we need to simply start with being purposeful in loving Him and letting His Spirit do His work in us. Start with a simple prayer, asking God to give you the desire to be obedient....and the strength to live it out....and then believe that He will answer!!
   
   
   
   
   

Babies!!! Who really has the answers?

I was a first-time mommy not too long ago. And, now being a mommy of 3, I'm thankful I can put that title behind me!!!!  Becoming a mommy was one of the greatest blessings I will ever experience in this lifetime....I am forever thankful to be called 'Mommy'.  But being a first-time mommy can be a super stressful time....if we let it.

I mean, let's be honest, no matter if you live in Smalltownville or Bigcityburg.....everyone's got wisdom to impart onto the first-time mommy....and everyone thinks they are right. And the new mommy is stuck somewhere between respecting everyone's advice/opinions and wanting to scream for everyone to just keep their mouth shut already!

Plus, there are about a bazillion-gillion baby books out there...and don't even start searching the internet! Even "experienced" mommies can get overwhelmed by the plethora of information out there....never mind that so much of it is contradicting!!

I have made lots of mistakes, but I have gained knowledge from what I've learned through reflection on those mistakes. This post is my attempt to be an encouragement to all mommies...to give a mommy some fresh ideas if she is in a rut....and to try to pass on things I have learned along the way.....what good is knowledge if you don't share it?

Here we go:

1. All babies are different. All mommies are different. All daddies are different.  This seems simple...I mean, DUH!!  But, take a moment to really think how knowing this can reduce stress. We are families comprised of human beings, each with a different personality....even from inside the womb. Knowing and accepting this in your marriage relationship is huge....even more huge to accept your child's/children's unique personalities!! So, to the new mommy - what works for someone else's baby may not work for yours....follow your instinct and take time to really learn your baby's cues - they've all got them....their own unique language to you!!

2. If your pediatrician or family physician is bullying you......FIND A NEW ONE!!! I am very passionate about the fact that medical professionals work for you, and if one is not respecting that relationship...it's time to seek out a new provider. Physicians should create a trusting environment for their patients, not one where you are constantly doubting yourself and the decisions you are making for your child. Seek one that is wanting to help you according to your convictions....one that is always open to new sources of information.....while still offering sound medical advice to help you make decisions. I could write a book on this, but I'll reign it in here.

3. Go ahead and accept that it's not about you anymore. For most mommies, this is another 'DUH' statement....but I didn't truly learn this lesson soon enough. I spent way too many hours at night being frustrated and stressed that my baby was waking up in the middle of the night and it was preventing me from getting sleep....way too many hours stressed that my baby wasn't spreading out her feedings like she was supposed to and it wasn't convenient...I had made it all about me. No matter whether this baby was planned or a surprise, all babies enter this world completely dependent.....completely. Take time to reflect on the times you are getting frustrated and have a heart-to-heart with yourself - then all you mommies who are followers of Christ - hit your knees, proclaim your inability to do this on your own, and pray for His Spirit to guide you.....yourself will thank you...and so will your baby! They can sense our stress, ya know....so, set it straight in your mind that your time is not your time. All too soon that little dependent baby will be grown and living on their own....and you'll have all the time in the world to do whatever you want.

4. There really is no such thing as too much cuddling and snuggling with that precious babe. Again, a lesson I took too long to realize. Now that my first baby is almost 4 whole years old, I understand just how fast time passes....that they are small for just a short while....that nobody ever died from extra time snuggling with mommy!! I realize everyone has different parenting techniques, but if you err.....err on the side of love.

5. Do your research....be educated in all you put in and on your kiddos bodies, and into their minds. All that means is, in whatever decision you are making (breastfeeding v. formula, vaccines v. no vaccines, organic v. non-organic, pediatrician v. family physician, co-sleeping v. crib sleeping, TV v. no TV, public/private school v. home school, etc), know the facts on both sides. Not all of these decisions can have potential bad consequences, but once something permanent is done, you can't un-do it. So, if you are conflicted, trust your instinct and wait until you've gotten enough info to comfortably make your decision. And above all else, PRAY for guidance in these decisions!!  Relying on God our Father to let His way be our way.  This one is said with such love....from a mommy who didn't do enough research and regrets some decisions....I try to help others know that there are choices, and I desire to prevent even one mommy from living with regret!!

6. Don't be afraid to ask for help....especially from your hubby! A lot of first-time mommies try to do everything...and first-time daddies don't even know where to start or when to offer help. The best thing you can do for your baby and his/her relationship with daddy, is to let them spend time together without you there. And the best thing you can do for your marriage, in this time of welcoming someone new to the family, is to involve your husband as much as you can, and to be honest with him - communicating when you need help.  And if you are a single-momma, I think you are amazing!! But, don't let your pride get in the way of allowing someone to be a blessing to you. If you don't have family close, seek out a local church and get involved....there's so many that love to help others.


So, just a few tidbits.....but mainly - just breathe. Enjoy each day....soak it all in. And cover each day in prayer, because your strength really does come from the Lord!!!

Go light on the details...

I will note that this topic has been on my mind for many weeks, but this week in Bible study, it was highlighted.  I am in a group of precious ladies studying the book of James in Beth Moore's study "Mercy Triumphs".  Here is what I suggest - #1) Get your hands on that study!  #2) Dive into it as a soul expecting to be altered for the glory of God.  #3) Live it.

Sin.  The word just gives me an icky feeling all over....because this girl's soul desires the holy things of my God....and my God HATES sin.  Praise God for the Holy Spirit in me that keeps me sensitive to sin....keeps me accountable....keeps me desiring Christ and doesn't let me be content in sinning.

Confession.  This word also makes me uncomfortable - but that's because of my fleshly pride.  Who, in and of themselves, wants to confess wrong doings??  Without Christ as my Savior, and the Spirit living in me to convict me and help me overcome myself, I would not naturally want to confess anything.  However, to a believer who desires a life walking closely with the Lord of lords, confession is a necessary step for true repentance.  And repentance keeps the sin barrier wall from building between you and Holy God Almighty.

Sometimes, it is necessary to confess sin publicly - could be to just a few friends, or to a large group.  But, we need to act Biblically when we do this.  It is a good thing to do - when it is necessary (I'll get to that in a bit), but there is a line that must not be crossed.

God already knows all the details of your sin, and neither He nor you need to relive them by describing all the details.  And, let's be clear....God is the only one who can truly forgive your sin and wipe your slate clean.  So, the first confession must me made to Him.  But, if/when you need to involve others, the use of generalities is best if you are needing to confess in public, because (here is the uncrossable line) getting into the gory details gives glory to the sin and takes glory from God.  Rehashing the ugly details of a past sin is verging on gossip and it often elicits feelings, within yourself and within the audience listening, that take a person's mind off of "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise" (Phil 4:8)...and put a person's mind on negative things.  And where do you think Satan would like to have our thoughts??  Confession, repentance, and forgiveness are possible through the never-ending love of God and His all-abounding mercy and grace.  So, when we confess, we should have a heart of love - for Christ and others.  If we are confessing before others, it is love that should precede what we say....our love for them and desire to not be a stumbling block is our motive to not divulge more than the necessary information.

So, when is it appropriate to confess in public?  The simple answer is when we have wronged others.  (And lets be clear here, we do not have to confess ALL of our sins in public.)  If we have wronged a large group, it is right to briefly state the general sin and then seek forgiveness.  If we have wronged a family member or friend, it is right to approach that person (in private) and briefly state the general sin and then seek forgiveness.  In all honesty, I tend to struggle in this area and wanting to say too much of what I am thinking - explain myself too much.  Sometimes, words come out of my mouth that end up nullifying the confession because those words have led to more hurt and negativity.  So, it is my desire to keep my tongue in check in all I say, in every situation.

There is another sticky situation in confession....what if you wronged someone who doesn't know that you wronged them? Do you approach them and reveal your sin, thus making them aware - and potentially hurting them, and then asking for their forgiveness?  The answer goes back to your motive....are you simply telling them so that you can bring attention to the sin that was committed?  OR...are you telling them because hiding sin would be more harmful and confessing the sin would be showing love?  And the even more ultimate answer is....if you have first confessed your sin to God - have repented - and have turned from that sin through God's forgiveness, you MUST seek the Holy Spirit's guidance.  God speaks, it is up to us to tune our hearts, minds, souls, and ears to be able to hear Him.  I, in my humanness, cannot say who should confess any sin to anyone other than Almighty God.....so, you MUST be on your knees, face down in humility, in prayer to let God do the leading in that situation.

We know that God is love....and we know that all who love others knows God.  When we deal with sin in our lives, we turn to God first for forgiveness, then do as His Spirit leads if further action on our part is needed.

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions. 

~Proverbs 10:12

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

~1 Peter 4:8

And for all those mommies and daddies out there, when you have sinned against your children (or sinned in front of them)....it is TOTALLY appropriate for you to apologize (confess your sin) and ask forgiveness from your children, toddlers and older.  When our children see us humbling ourselves, acknowledging that we sinned, stating that we have asked God for forgiveness, and then asking our children to forgive us......it is HUGE!!!  Why would our children want to apologize for anything they do against others, if we aren't modeling that behavior when they have been the ones wronged??  God uses us parents in a mighty way in the lives of our kiddos....being a humble parent, able to give and ask for forgiveness, is just one small way.

Who has time to slow down??

Rushing around....that's what life feels like most days.  Rush to work, rush to get dinner ready, rush to get kids to activities, rush to appointments of all kinds, rush to the grocery store - (and then rush through the grocery store!), rush to get the family ready and out the door for church....rush, rush, rush.

It makes me want to say...."hush, hush, hush....momma needs some down time!"

Life will become a hectic mess, IF you LET it.  It's a daily struggle for most....the elusive ability to take life by the moments and not constantly living for the future and what "must" get done...

One of my favorite verses is from the book of Psalms...chapter 46, verse 10....

The NIV translation says it like this "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  The NASB translation says 'cease striving' OR simply 'relax'.

Relax??? Most of us are thinking - or at least I know I am - how in the world can I relax?  I don't have time to relax!!!!  If anyone else is like me, my days are filled to the brim, and I often don't get accomplished half of what I set out to do.  For those that have little children at home, like me, there are so many unforeseen events during the course of the day, that I often find it pointless to plan out my day.  So, when I'm constantly feeling "behind", how can I ever just relax???

At least from what God has spoken to my heart over the years, I believe that God desires us to be hard-working at the role He has placed us in....but, we are to seek Him in all that we do.  Only through that earnest seeking and reliance on Him, through the Holy Spirit, God supplies us with the energy and motivation to accomplish necessary tasks throughout the day.  It then becomes an important step to identify the "necessary tasks" and not over-stuff our daily schedule.  God did not intend for us to be so busy that we barely have time to interact with each other.

Each family is made up of different dynamics, and we all do things a little differently - so I'm not implying that everyone should be living life at the same speed.  I always say, "God created each person with their own uniqueness, and what a boring world if we all tried to be the same, talk the same, dress the same, act the same, etc. I love the diverse human race that God created."

However, we do need to be sensitive to when we're letting ourselves and the rest of our family get TOO busy.  We can fill our extra time with lots of extra-curricular activities that are fun but can be fleeting - OR - we can seek out ways to work for His Kingdom....this is an area to which I pray God keeps my heart sensitive as my children grow older and can participate in more areas.  Instead of filling time with dance classes, tee-ball, soccer, music lessons, gymnastics, basketball, art classes, etc, etc....I am challenging myself to think of other areas God can use my children to fill their time and be a light in this world.

It's wonderful to be a part of a sports team or learning how to make music with an instrument or your voice....and I do desire to give those opportunities to my kiddos.  However, I desire for us to be balanced - to not get so caught up the rush of activities....to not be selfish with the time we can sacrificially give for Christ to use us in the lives of others.

My prayer is to be diligent at completing necessary tasks throughout the day, living in the moment with my beautiful children, and seeking - truly looking for - time in our schedule to give to activities that reach out to others.  Ultimately, I can "be still" in Christ, knowing that when I daily seek Him and rely on Him, my day will flow as He desires....I need not worry what didn't get done on MY to-do list.

Joyfully Expect to Grow

I'm currently doing a Bible study in the book of James.  Just an FYI, if you ever want to be kicked in the rear, punched in the face, knocked in the ribs, or slapped upside the head - do a study in James!!  Okay, so that doesn't sound like much fun.....but if you are a follower of Christ and desire to truly "shed the old and put on the new" - there's no better thing than to actively seek out where God wants you to change.  We should not approach it with an attitude of fear of what we might find - but rather, with an attitude of JOY at the prospect of what God will reveal to us.  There is nothing more joyful to a believer than to bring glory to God....and how do we do that individually / privately?  By letting the Holy Spirit speak to us and convict us of where we are lacking.....then repenting, followed by expectant and desperate prayers for help from God to grow in Him.  I mean, I seriously crave moments where God convicts me and I see another ugly part of my heart....because it means one more area of me that He is perfecting in Him....and one more area of deeper reliance on Christ in my life.  Does that make anyone else excited?!?!?!?

In my current season of life, I find myself often feeling completely drained at the end of the day ..... a day that often involves children arguing over insignificant toys, not wanting to eat what food is put on their plate, a baby crying in need of a diaper change or needing to nurse, and many opportunities for mommy to lose her patience.  And, in all honestly, I fail during most of those "opportunities".....  Don't get me wrong, my days are also filled with wonderfully sweet moments - my baby boy's smile as he grabs my face, my little red head's laughter as she runs circles in our living room, and my 3 year old's sweet voice as she randomly says "I love you, mommy" - I mean, those moments stop me dead in my tracks and cause my heart and soul and voice to look to God and express thanksgiving over and over for my overflowing blessings.  It's just so easy for us humans to focus on the "negative" or "trying" or "difficult" days or moments in a day - to carry them with us as a heavy burden - sometimes we even use those moments to remind ourselves just how "un-worthy" we are.  But, we are giving the upper hand to the enemy when we do this....I'll elaborate.

This study in James is speaking loudly to me.  I started it EXPECTING God to move in my life, in my character, in my heart, and in my actions / words.  What I didn't expect, was that God is revealing to me that I can view my "trials" or "failures" positively - for they are working in my life to refine me and shape me, to teach me and grow me.  As a true believer in the One Holy God, I have nothing to despair - my God already holds the victory and I know my eternity will be spent with Him!!!  Does that not make you want to shout praises all day long?!?!?!  Hallejuah!!! 

It is the work of Satan and his demons that speak negativity to me or around me.  It is of much importance that we learn to recognize God's voice and differentiate it from Satan's voice.  If you don't know the difference, I'll give you a few examples:

GOD'S VOICE                                                       SATAN'S VOICE
- Stills you                                                              - Rushes you
- Leads you                                                            - Pushes you
- Reassures you                                                    - Frightens you
- Enlightens you                                                     - Confuses you
- Encourages you                                                  - Discourages you
- Comforts you                                                       - Worries you
- Calms you                                                           - Obsesses you
- Convicts you                                                        - Condemns you

When the day, or the week, or the month, or the season, or the year overwhelms you with trials - do not allow yourself to speak negatively - nor allow Satan's voice to be louder than Almighty God's in your life.  More powerful than "not allowing" negativity.....speak truth - God's Word - over and over throughout your day.  Claiming scripture and praying scripture is so very powerful - and comforting.  There are too many verses to list, but here are a few to lean on when trials are refining you and molding you.

"The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my savior; thou saved me from violence. I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies."  ~2 Samuel 22:3-4

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makes me dwell in safety."  ~Psalm 4:8

"But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You."  ~Psalm 5:11

"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him."  ~Psalm 18:30

"Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me."  ~Psalm 138:7

"The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe."  ~Proverbs 29:25

"Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him."  ~Proverbs 30:5

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  ~John 14:27

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one."  ~2 Thessalonians 3:3

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  ~2 Timothy 1:7

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? [shall] tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  ~Romans 8:35-39

God's Perfect Design

Today is a big day in the US Supreme Court.....they are taking on a topic that was only meant for God to decide.  And He already decided - marriage is between one man and one woman.  This is a biblical fact and you cannot pick and choose which part of the Bible to believe.  If you do this, you are creating a false god - a god of convenience....you have created an idol.  And God makes it clear, we are to have no other gods before Him.  I believe that Satan is distracting the majority of us by having us focus on the fight of what a government would call marriage, rather than spending that energy showing the love of Christ to a lost people and winning souls for Christ.  If my state asks me to vote on a law defining marriage, I will most definitely vote for traditional marriage = one man + one woman.  This is my stand for truth, to be on fire for God.  However, a government can make any law they want, but it will NEVER change God's law.  A homosexual may be granted the ability to get married on paper....but on judgement day, if they have not repented and are not covered by the blood of Jesus, they will kneel before Almighty God and be held accountable for their sins. Our hearts should be soft towards the lost, to desire to see everyone know Christ.  As a follower of Christ, I answer only to God - He is my judge - and I will answer to Him for with what or who I publicly and privately align myself.

For us moms (and dads) that are Followers of Christ, we have the task of teaching our children to love people, hate the sin.  It is so very hard for many people to separate these two actions.  Too many times the homosexual / transexual / bisexual individuals are treated horribly.  God may hate their sin, but each person is still His creation and He still desires to see every soul choose Christ and choose a deep and fulfilling relationship with Him.  We trust in the words inspired by the Holy Spirit in 1 Timothy 2:1-7, 8:

"First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, 

be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, 

so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. 

This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 

who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 

For there is one God, and one mediator also between God and men, 

the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, 

the testimony given at the proper time.....

Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, 

without wrath and dissension."

So, how do we teach our children?  

We teach them by first instilling the Word of God into their precious hearts....so that they have God's perfect words written on their hearts.  It not only protects from attacks from the enemy - but also provides them with a foundation they can stand upon when they are faced with trials AND opportunities to love others.

We teach them by living a life of prayer and letting them see our own relationship with Christ - even the bumpy parts - God uses everything, if we let Him.  And our prayers should include fervent ones for the salvation of our precious children's souls.

We teach them by being transparent and owning up to when we have acted wrongly as parents - showing them how to repent and ask forgiveness.

We teach them by parenting them with the grace that God bestowed upon us.  That means loving them even when they've done wrong....to gracefully discipline, to keep no record of their wrongs.

We teach them by showing them the needs of others and actively participating in helping others  and meeting the needs of others ourselves.

We teach them by involving them on mission trips, so that they can see God at work in many ways.

My prayer is that God would help me see with His eyes - to see His creation - to see the souls that are hurting and searching for answers - to see the outcasts - to see the person, not the sin. We need to be a loud and bold voice for Christ, speaking truth - first, within our own homes and secondly, to the world.  Only....ONLY....Christ on the cross and his resurrection can save us from eternal damnation.  Understand that Satan is deceiving many....let us let God use us so that we are even louder and reaching more with a voice of truth.

Jesus left us with two great commandments, from Mark 12:28-34:

"One of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, 'What commandment is the foremost of all?' 

Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; 

and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, 

and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 

The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

There is no other commandment greater than these."

Give Fear & Worry a Good 'Ol Kick in the Rear

**Currently, God has pricked my heart to allow myself to be a vessel to speak encouragement from Him into the lives of other moms.  I have a heart for all women and the amazing ministries in which God can use us - but the majority of these blog posts will be directed towards mothers, especially moms of young kiddos.  If you aren't a mom, I hope you can still take away a piece of encouragement - God's promises still mean the same for all of us!

What are my children doing right now?  My almost 7 month old is amazingly napping through the loudness of his two older sisters playing.  Those two little girls are 24 months old and 3.5 years old – both STARK naked right now.  My very own little nudist community!  Ha! I have asked them multiple times today to get dressed, or to just put on underwear, but they claim they are not cold and just don’t want to get dressed!  Guess what??  It’s OKAY!!  We have nowhere to be, this home inside these walls is their “safe place”, and they are having fun just being kids.  My heart could just about literally melt inside my chest in this moment.

I try to actively seek out God in all moments, and seeing my daughters feel comfortable in their skin, without a care in the world….this reminds me of words from my Savior in Matthew 6:25-34 about God’s desire to provide that same level of safety and lack of worry to all us adults who think we’ve got it figured out.

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?  And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?  And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!  Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’  For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  ‘So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’ ”  (NASB)

We mommies try to hold it all together – our families, the cleanliness of our homes, balancing work with family needs, giving our husbands the attention they need, spending time with friends, disciplining our children effectively but with love – it can get pretty exhausting when we do it on our own strength. And, let's face it - it scares us if it all could come crashing down.  But, our God cares….He desperately CARES.  You can wake each morning knowing that your Heavenly Father loves you, wants to protect you, and wants to provide for you.  I absolutely LOVE reminding myself of God’s promises – when I do this, I can feel my soul smiling….and that smile spreads to love acted out to my family and to others in need.  So, spend this week waking to thoughts of God’s promises and His faithfulness….let Him light your way through the day – whatever that day may bring….including the sticky fingers, peed on sheets, no time for a shower, forgotten lunches, muddied pants, spilled cereal kind of days – and the up-multiple-times-I’m-going-to-be-dragging-in-the-morning nights. <3

Today, I challenge you to pick out the verse in this excerpt that speaks loudly to your heart and write it on a post-it note. Then, stick it on the fridge or on the bathroom mirror or on the window over the sink – somewhere you can read it and be encouraged multiple times throughout the day!