OCD? House always spotless?? Not so much with this gal...

Do you have little ones....and I mean aged 3 and under at home??? (At least what I am observing in our oldest, it appears 4 years old is when they really start to grasp the concept of following through on the task you give them and really being more a helper than a helper that needs constant guidance).  Do you have more than one?

When our third blessing was born, my oldest had just turned 3.....yep, God was teaching us patience!!  LOL!!  Here are my beautiful babies the day that our 1st sweet baby boy was born almost 9 months ago - time flies:

MK ~ 38 mos old, SJ ~ 17 mos old, RT ~ 1 day old

Life is hectic for us....the day literally never slows down.  So, I understand the other mommas out there who just want to stay on top of basic chores - but also have time to meet all the kiddos needs - and actually have time to just have fun with them!!!  And then, even if you clean all day, you've got little pairs of hands and feet following right behind you making messes of what you just cleaned!!!  Anyone else?????

Do you struggle to keep the house under control....even semi-under control?  Is this a source of stress for you...or for your hubby?  Does this picture happen more than once a day and make cleaning house even more stressful???

**This is not my kid....but bless his heart!!!  And bless his momma's heart!!!

I am totally there with you.  Some days are just a complete wash.  I often have a plan...and that plan often gets blown out of the water.  I am not OCD about being spotlessly clean....we LIVE in our house, for goodness sake!!  I just do not believe this needs to be a source of stress for me....I have so many moments I want to be involved with as my kids are growing, and I don't want to be stuck sticking to a cleaning regimen, just because today is "bathroom day"!!!  And, I didn't want to have anything scheduled for cleaning on the weekends - my husband works hard (and sometimes long hours) and I just want to be relaxed with him when he's home all day for the weekend.  I also work a few weekends a month, and I do not want to have any tasks that he has to have completed while I'm gone, so he can just enjoy one-on-one time with the kiddos.  So, I tried to think of the easiest plan I could think of to keep some sort of order in the house.....and here is what has been working for me the past few weeks.

MONDAY (no cleaning)

• Organize coupons / comprise grocery list / go grocery shopping for two weeks worth of food
• Go over finances / pay bills every two weeks

TUESDAY (just laundry - no cleaning)

• Cooking day (I often spend the morning with one of my best friends and we prepare several meals at once for freezing)
• Laundry day - all clothing is washed on this one day - this has been AWESOME - such a good decision to do it all in one day

WEDNESDAY (1st day of cleaning - this is the most time consuming day....but the girls are starting to help a lot on this day)

• Bathrooms - we have two full baths - (mirror, sink, quick sweep of floors, toilet, wipe down tub/shower)
• Bedrooms - straighten up and vacuum, wash all bed linens

THURSDAY (2nd day of cleaning)

• Vacuum & mop floors in hallway/kitchen/living/dining room

FRIDAY (maybe cleaning....maybe a free day!!)

• Left over day to catch up on anything that didn't get done earlier in the week - could give the kitchen a good cleaning if nothing else needs attention - or could hit up the baseboards - or the ceiling fan blades - or go through papers that need filed - or clean windows (that will have fingerprints all over them as soon as I get them clean!!) - or sweep cobwebs out of the ceiling corners - BUT, I only choose ONE of those things to do!

That's it....it's really been pretty easy to implement.  And the best part is, I don't feel overwhelmed.  Side note: every single day the dishes are done....but rarely is our kitchen spotless.  I spend a large amount of the day in there - between breakfast and snacks and lunches and dinner prep...it's just never going to be completely clean.  So, I just *try* to keep on top of the dishes and do the pots and pans when I can.  I also *try* to keep on top of the floor, at least spot-sweeping when someone's made a mess.

We try to pick up toys each day, but that doesn't always happen.  And I am OKAY with that!!  We live with little kiddos...they love toys....their toys are everywhere.  These are facts.  I'd rather have toys strewn about and happy kiddos, than toys put up properly and discouraged children.

There are some weeks where not every chore is going to get done.....and in my book, that is 100% okay.  Our house is not disease-ridden....a few days of really messy isn't going to hurt anyone and can be recovered from, usually within just one day.  One thing I will suggest -- sit down with your hubby and talk about the cleanliness of the house with him, find out what his thoughts and expectations are.  Let him know what you can and can't do during the day and work as a team to figure out the best plan.  My hubs always takes care of the trash and we have started switching who does the dishes in the evenings if we are at home after dinner.  Plus, if I have the laundry ready to go, my husband can carry all the weighed down laundry baskets downstairs to our washer an dryer...that's always a huge help!  He also helps the girls stay motivated to, at the very least, pick up toys and put them away somehow!!  Communication is key so that you can have help when you need it and so that he knows what the plan is!!

So, for all you OCD mommas out there....I'm sorry if my house gives you a heart attack - or even just reading this blog gives you a heart attack!  LOL!!  But, for me and my personality, I just believe there are more important things than a super clean house....more important little human beings need my attention.  Maybe you already have a chore schedule that works....awesome!!!  Just give yourself a little "living life" room and don't let a spotless clean house become yet another source of stress in your life!!  Hugs momma!!!  

Now, go play with your little ones....and give them tight squeezing hugs and big slobbery kisses!!!!

Following in Obedience - What does that really mean??

I've been thinking for many days about this.  I'm daily convicted about my own strong-willed and stubborn personality....I am my own stumbling block in my relationship with Christ.  This might be a long post - and I apologize - but there are some little nuggets of encouragement that have helped me in this area. And I am still growing....does anyone ever stop?  I fail often, but my Gracious Heavenly Father picks me back up, forgives my sin, and renews His Spirit in me - giving me strength to continue on in faith!

How can I truly be obedient?
How does a person handle all the stresses of life and still be obedient?
What does this look like in a dysfunctional world?  In my dysfunctional life?

It's hard for me to wrap my mind around total obedience to the Lord - mainly because I fail so often.  So, it helps me to break it into the areas of life that pertain to most of us:

• Worship / Prayer / Bible study - we know these need to be our priority, but - for some - these tend to fall to the wayside with all the other demands on our time
• Relationships - marriage, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends, co-workers, enemies - we are called LOVE...and to pray for all of these
• Our role as women in the home - it's not all about staying at home 24/7 - the managing of the home is, by God's design, the responsibility of the woman....whether we work in or out of the home, it is still our responsibility to tend to our home and all the inhabitants
• Jobs - working at home or outside the home - God calls us to be servants no matter where we are working
• Parenting - because our relationship with our children is a whole different relationship than any other, but it is our biggest chance at witnessing to a captivated audience
• Finances - we all know the stress that dealing with finances can bring, but it can also bring joy when we trust God to use our money for His purpose
• Eating - food can be an idol and we must be on guard to not let our desire for food become too present in our thoughts or used as our way of dealing with life - we don't need food to cope, we need God.
• Exercising - how quickly we forget that our bodies are the living, breathing temple of God - why do we neglect them so?  I have recently been convicted in this....
• Service - beyond serving within the walls of your home, seeking to serve others in your community or be open to the call to go on mission trips to another state or abroad
• Evangelizing - spreading the Good News to the world around us

Okay, so....breathe. 

I'm feeling overwhelmed just looking at that list....and that was just a generalized summary!!  Life is complicated. It just is. And, for those who desire to follow Christ, life is usually hard.  In fact, Jesus gave us a glimpse of the trials even He experienced when walking this earth, as He responded to a man who claimed to want to follow Him, 

"As they were going along the road, someone said to Him, “I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” ~Luke 9:57-58

If our Savior and Redeemer....the only perfect Man who walked this earth, who was always completely obedient to the Father....if He had not even a building for shelter to lay his head and endured hardships, why do we believe our life will be easy?  But, that is a question to explore for another blog!!  :)

So....how do we walk out obedience in all the areas of life that are always tugging at us?  Truly, I believe it is simple, Christ instructed us simply - I believe we make it hard.  God has shown me three...just three...simple ways we can live obediently. And, if I could sum those three points up into two words:  BE PURPOSEFUL.

1.  Be purposeful - desire, strive, struggle, set your mind -  to follow the two greatest commands Jesus spoke of in the book of Matthew:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and [o]foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” ~Matthew 22:36-40

We don't need to be uber-super-duper "religious" and do everything right....in fact, try to steer clear of falling into legalism....we are saved by grace, not by works.  But, by being purposeful in loving God with ALL our heart, mind, soul, strength (**take a minute and REALLY think about what that means**), we are opening ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit.  And when the Holy Spirit is freely working in us, we CAN be obedient to His promptings.  And when we set our minds and hearts on seeking God, we will end up in His Word and in prayer....and our relationship with Him will be deepened.  And, when the Holy Spirit is working freely in us, God will soften our hearts to those around us (including our hateful co-worker, or our extra whiny toddler, or our distant spouse, or our estranged siblings, or the homeless man who's always on the street corner, etc, etc).  When we first set our minds and hearts and souls and strength on God Almighty, we can more easily love and serve our husbands, love and guide our children, serve outside our homes, and show Christ to the world.....all because we ourselves have received unconditional love from the only One who can give it.

2. Be purposeful in seeing God in all the moments of the day.

"There is ... one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all." ~Ephesians 4:6

This is the idea of being thankful and finding joy in the midst of a messy, stressful, and demanding life.  God IS there.  He's there for all the moments, beautiful and downright ugly.  And, contrary to what some people believe, we will be given more than we can handle.....we endure much in this life, but the only way to truly handle it is to hit our knees - face down - pleading for God's help and deliverance!!  If you haven't heard of this book, now available as a devotional as well, I recommend it times a billion!!  One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp, was life changing for my walk with Christ.  I read it at exactly the time in life that I should have....I have three little ones (currently aged almost 4, recently turned 2, and almost 9 months).  Life is hectic....and I get lost in the needs of everyone else.  But, this book helped me put it all in perspective...and God grabbed a hold of me through her words. I can more easily see God in the midst because I am looking for Him!!

3. Be purposeful in TRUSTING.

I would go out on a limb and say I am not alone in this, but I often don't rely on God throughout the day.  Take a moment and daydream....imagine your life - all the decisions and headaches and mess-ups and joys - imagine what that life would look like when fully trusting in God your Father to meet every single need, to know what is best for you.  I think of my own life, and I am overwhelmed by the abundance of glory I have missed out on giving to my Holy God - what a HUGE testimony and witness it is to everyone around me when I fully rely on Him and can give Him all the glory!!!  If I am living life like this, God is using this season of life - the one where my main focus is on loving and serving my husband, caring for little ones, and homeschooling my oldest - the season of life where I can't be out evangelizing every day because my responsibility is to my family first - when I give trust to Him....I can be evangelizing simply by proclaiming His promises are true and He is faithful - giving evidence of how He has been faithful in my own life!!!  This makes me think of a sweet hymn....sing it along with me:

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His Word;

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

• Refrain:
  Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
  How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
  Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
  Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

1. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
2. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
3. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.
   
   
   Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Daily seek His presence, in all the moments. Trust in Him, believe His promises.  We don't need to stress about failing in obedience.....we need to simply start with being purposeful in loving Him and letting His Spirit do His work in us. Start with a simple prayer, asking God to give you the desire to be obedient....and the strength to live it out....and then believe that He will answer!!
   
   
   
   
   

Babies!!! Who really has the answers?

I was a first-time mommy not too long ago. And, now being a mommy of 3, I'm thankful I can put that title behind me!!!!  Becoming a mommy was one of the greatest blessings I will ever experience in this lifetime....I am forever thankful to be called 'Mommy'.  But being a first-time mommy can be a super stressful time....if we let it.

I mean, let's be honest, no matter if you live in Smalltownville or Bigcityburg.....everyone's got wisdom to impart onto the first-time mommy....and everyone thinks they are right. And the new mommy is stuck somewhere between respecting everyone's advice/opinions and wanting to scream for everyone to just keep their mouth shut already!

Plus, there are about a bazillion-gillion baby books out there...and don't even start searching the internet! Even "experienced" mommies can get overwhelmed by the plethora of information out there....never mind that so much of it is contradicting!!

I have made lots of mistakes, but I have gained knowledge from what I've learned through reflection on those mistakes. This post is my attempt to be an encouragement to all mommies...to give a mommy some fresh ideas if she is in a rut....and to try to pass on things I have learned along the way.....what good is knowledge if you don't share it?

Here we go:

1. All babies are different. All mommies are different. All daddies are different.  This seems simple...I mean, DUH!!  But, take a moment to really think how knowing this can reduce stress. We are families comprised of human beings, each with a different personality....even from inside the womb. Knowing and accepting this in your marriage relationship is huge....even more huge to accept your child's/children's unique personalities!! So, to the new mommy - what works for someone else's baby may not work for yours....follow your instinct and take time to really learn your baby's cues - they've all got them....their own unique language to you!!

2. If your pediatrician or family physician is bullying you......FIND A NEW ONE!!! I am very passionate about the fact that medical professionals work for you, and if one is not respecting that relationship...it's time to seek out a new provider. Physicians should create a trusting environment for their patients, not one where you are constantly doubting yourself and the decisions you are making for your child. Seek one that is wanting to help you according to your convictions....one that is always open to new sources of information.....while still offering sound medical advice to help you make decisions. I could write a book on this, but I'll reign it in here.

3. Go ahead and accept that it's not about you anymore. For most mommies, this is another 'DUH' statement....but I didn't truly learn this lesson soon enough. I spent way too many hours at night being frustrated and stressed that my baby was waking up in the middle of the night and it was preventing me from getting sleep....way too many hours stressed that my baby wasn't spreading out her feedings like she was supposed to and it wasn't convenient...I had made it all about me. No matter whether this baby was planned or a surprise, all babies enter this world completely dependent.....completely. Take time to reflect on the times you are getting frustrated and have a heart-to-heart with yourself - then all you mommies who are followers of Christ - hit your knees, proclaim your inability to do this on your own, and pray for His Spirit to guide you.....yourself will thank you...and so will your baby! They can sense our stress, ya know....so, set it straight in your mind that your time is not your time. All too soon that little dependent baby will be grown and living on their own....and you'll have all the time in the world to do whatever you want.

4. There really is no such thing as too much cuddling and snuggling with that precious babe. Again, a lesson I took too long to realize. Now that my first baby is almost 4 whole years old, I understand just how fast time passes....that they are small for just a short while....that nobody ever died from extra time snuggling with mommy!! I realize everyone has different parenting techniques, but if you err.....err on the side of love.

5. Do your research....be educated in all you put in and on your kiddos bodies, and into their minds. All that means is, in whatever decision you are making (breastfeeding v. formula, vaccines v. no vaccines, organic v. non-organic, pediatrician v. family physician, co-sleeping v. crib sleeping, TV v. no TV, public/private school v. home school, etc), know the facts on both sides. Not all of these decisions can have potential bad consequences, but once something permanent is done, you can't un-do it. So, if you are conflicted, trust your instinct and wait until you've gotten enough info to comfortably make your decision. And above all else, PRAY for guidance in these decisions!!  Relying on God our Father to let His way be our way.  This one is said with such love....from a mommy who didn't do enough research and regrets some decisions....I try to help others know that there are choices, and I desire to prevent even one mommy from living with regret!!

6. Don't be afraid to ask for help....especially from your hubby! A lot of first-time mommies try to do everything...and first-time daddies don't even know where to start or when to offer help. The best thing you can do for your baby and his/her relationship with daddy, is to let them spend time together without you there. And the best thing you can do for your marriage, in this time of welcoming someone new to the family, is to involve your husband as much as you can, and to be honest with him - communicating when you need help.  And if you are a single-momma, I think you are amazing!! But, don't let your pride get in the way of allowing someone to be a blessing to you. If you don't have family close, seek out a local church and get involved....there's so many that love to help others.


So, just a few tidbits.....but mainly - just breathe. Enjoy each day....soak it all in. And cover each day in prayer, because your strength really does come from the Lord!!!

Go light on the details...

I will note that this topic has been on my mind for many weeks, but this week in Bible study, it was highlighted.  I am in a group of precious ladies studying the book of James in Beth Moore's study "Mercy Triumphs".  Here is what I suggest - #1) Get your hands on that study!  #2) Dive into it as a soul expecting to be altered for the glory of God.  #3) Live it.

Sin.  The word just gives me an icky feeling all over....because this girl's soul desires the holy things of my God....and my God HATES sin.  Praise God for the Holy Spirit in me that keeps me sensitive to sin....keeps me accountable....keeps me desiring Christ and doesn't let me be content in sinning.

Confession.  This word also makes me uncomfortable - but that's because of my fleshly pride.  Who, in and of themselves, wants to confess wrong doings??  Without Christ as my Savior, and the Spirit living in me to convict me and help me overcome myself, I would not naturally want to confess anything.  However, to a believer who desires a life walking closely with the Lord of lords, confession is a necessary step for true repentance.  And repentance keeps the sin barrier wall from building between you and Holy God Almighty.

Sometimes, it is necessary to confess sin publicly - could be to just a few friends, or to a large group.  But, we need to act Biblically when we do this.  It is a good thing to do - when it is necessary (I'll get to that in a bit), but there is a line that must not be crossed.

God already knows all the details of your sin, and neither He nor you need to relive them by describing all the details.  And, let's be clear....God is the only one who can truly forgive your sin and wipe your slate clean.  So, the first confession must me made to Him.  But, if/when you need to involve others, the use of generalities is best if you are needing to confess in public, because (here is the uncrossable line) getting into the gory details gives glory to the sin and takes glory from God.  Rehashing the ugly details of a past sin is verging on gossip and it often elicits feelings, within yourself and within the audience listening, that take a person's mind off of "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise" (Phil 4:8)...and put a person's mind on negative things.  And where do you think Satan would like to have our thoughts??  Confession, repentance, and forgiveness are possible through the never-ending love of God and His all-abounding mercy and grace.  So, when we confess, we should have a heart of love - for Christ and others.  If we are confessing before others, it is love that should precede what we say....our love for them and desire to not be a stumbling block is our motive to not divulge more than the necessary information.

So, when is it appropriate to confess in public?  The simple answer is when we have wronged others.  (And lets be clear here, we do not have to confess ALL of our sins in public.)  If we have wronged a large group, it is right to briefly state the general sin and then seek forgiveness.  If we have wronged a family member or friend, it is right to approach that person (in private) and briefly state the general sin and then seek forgiveness.  In all honesty, I tend to struggle in this area and wanting to say too much of what I am thinking - explain myself too much.  Sometimes, words come out of my mouth that end up nullifying the confession because those words have led to more hurt and negativity.  So, it is my desire to keep my tongue in check in all I say, in every situation.

There is another sticky situation in confession....what if you wronged someone who doesn't know that you wronged them? Do you approach them and reveal your sin, thus making them aware - and potentially hurting them, and then asking for their forgiveness?  The answer goes back to your motive....are you simply telling them so that you can bring attention to the sin that was committed?  OR...are you telling them because hiding sin would be more harmful and confessing the sin would be showing love?  And the even more ultimate answer is....if you have first confessed your sin to God - have repented - and have turned from that sin through God's forgiveness, you MUST seek the Holy Spirit's guidance.  God speaks, it is up to us to tune our hearts, minds, souls, and ears to be able to hear Him.  I, in my humanness, cannot say who should confess any sin to anyone other than Almighty God.....so, you MUST be on your knees, face down in humility, in prayer to let God do the leading in that situation.

We know that God is love....and we know that all who love others knows God.  When we deal with sin in our lives, we turn to God first for forgiveness, then do as His Spirit leads if further action on our part is needed.

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions. 

~Proverbs 10:12

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

~1 Peter 4:8

And for all those mommies and daddies out there, when you have sinned against your children (or sinned in front of them)....it is TOTALLY appropriate for you to apologize (confess your sin) and ask forgiveness from your children, toddlers and older.  When our children see us humbling ourselves, acknowledging that we sinned, stating that we have asked God for forgiveness, and then asking our children to forgive us......it is HUGE!!!  Why would our children want to apologize for anything they do against others, if we aren't modeling that behavior when they have been the ones wronged??  God uses us parents in a mighty way in the lives of our kiddos....being a humble parent, able to give and ask for forgiveness, is just one small way.